(link) SELF-ESTEEM
One of the big pieces of the psychobabble industry is the promotion of “self esteem” at the expense of self control and personal responsibility. But, contrary to popular myth, self esteem is not the holy grail of psychological health. In fact, it is not necessarily even good for you, and most bullies, tyrants and other dysfunctional people fairly ooze self esteem. Most people confuse “self-esteem” with a “sense of self”. It is the latter–not the former, that is so often screwed up in the angry, violent, grandiose, and generally narcissistic people in the world. If you have a healthy “sense of self”, you are likely to have a healthy self-esteem; and a healthy self-esteem is not the same at all as a high self-esteem.The psychological defect that leads to so many problems for people in their lives is a defective or distorted sense of one’s SELF. The excessive self-esteem you see in a bully comes from a distortion of reality that person develops with regard to their self. It used to be widely believed that low self-esteem was a cause of violence, but in reality, violent individuals, groups and nations happen to think very well of themselves.
Having taught for years in our public schools… I have long been of this opinion. What is it we do to our students when we praise them for every thought uttered, every action extended and every word penned? By cheering them on without discretion… we are telling them loudly: “You are good enough just the way you are! No need for hard work, improvement and excellence… just being you is enough and you need not strive for improvement.” Now which of us has had this experience in our entire life? When was it ever good enough to just be and not try?
Is that what our employers want? “You are just fine the way you are… no need to take that order or open that cash register. Just being you is good enough.”
Is that what our families want? “Hey Dad! Don’t move off of that couch. We like you the way you are, lazy, unemployed, dishonest, vulgar and disrespectful! Way to go!”
What is your own opinion?
