These are not French women… Monday, Jun 1 2009

… but they are powerful women… not to be taken advantage of? (is that a word?) oui…6 words!

… does anyone know of what I am speaking? The power of young women in this culture is in their beauty and their sexuality… without these two things… they have no other power. .. they are to be taken advantage of… this is their only role.

…in post-modern  America, where “will-to-power”  is the primary theme… young women must dance to this tune…so to speak… it is their only opportunity for celebrity. The alternative is entry level boredom… little money, invisibility and years to earn respect for something more lasting than beauty and sexuality… intelligence and morality, n’est pas? But who is going to wait for them???

…for what a man will ultimately need for his future, is not youth or beauty … these are fleeting indeed… but in order to respect himself and be respected among his colleages, he shall need  a woman of integrity with wisdom and strength of character.

…there are no shortcuts to these qualities. If young women take the “coyote ugly” way to celebrity… they are missing the opportunity to grow into wise and formidable women, who will be respected and sought after… women of true power!

What is your own opinion?

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Search Engine Terms? Saturday, May 30 2009

Voila’… “girls’ feet”

And Gilmore Girls aussi? I was checking the search engine terms… how readers got to this site… who knew???  Girl’s feet…  oui ! Perhaps this is something that I am not familiar with?…some hidden meaning!… but this is of no consequence, n’est pas?      I will just remain ignorant of this possible double entendre??      What is your own opinion?  susanne

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Bonjour mes amis Friday, May 29 2009

French women have things to do, places to go and people to harass! mais oui? (but yes!)

Perhaps then we have no time to fester… fester… fester…. rot…rot…rot? (common French pastime)

But now I am back to write about this culture and how are we to survive, n’est pas? (… and no I am not living in Paris…  so sadly… but I have the right attitude!)  So let us discuss, shall we not?  susanne

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au revoir…2007 Monday, Feb 25 2008

Bonjour 2008… I heard someone mention not long ago… “oh I am glad 2007 is over. It was such a bad year!” Indeed? I had never thought about my years in general in this light. As the new year begins… was last year a good one, or bad one… or just a year?

Well, let me say that I am sure 2007 was “not my favorite year!” (that is what I taught my children to say instead of… ooh la la…I hate this dinner! or What is that??? They could kindly mention in passing that this was not their favorite. They still had to eat a little of it to be polite… but I would take note and not fix it for them again if possible) Ah ha! That was kind of off the thought trail… but what the heck… that is what French women are about! (at least this French woman!)

“french women with no make up are ugly until they open their mouths.”

i disagree: french women with no make-up are tres chic.

from the article: sans makeup s’ll vous plait:

“Too much makeup, French women say, makes a woman seem older, or even worse, as if she makes a living walking the streets.”

Well now… perhaps that is not such a disgraceful thing here in the USA? Do we not work at looking like we “walk the streets at night?” So… no problem there. Just cake on the makeup and get to work!

I will proceed on with my discussion of 2007 at another sitting! Au revoir!

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catholic marriage Wednesday, Dec 19 2007

 

I have said before that men should get married only if they wholly commit to the Catholic sacrament of marriage, and are absolutely sure their intended does too. By that I mean the whole enchilada: no sex outside of (or prior to) marriage, no divorce (and in case of abuse/adultery, no remarriage after separation), and no contraception either. Otherwise, there is no compelling reason for a man to marry.

Non-Catholics (and some Catholics too) will undoubtedly have reservations about the above, but our culture is long overdue for a hard conversation about how our having progressively shed each of the assumptions above has brought about the decline of the family and created a culture disposed toward narcissism and familial abandonment. If family bonds are a thing that can be broken as well as created, then marriage becomes “legalized fornication” and a transactional, not a covenantal arrangement.  Oct 31, 2007 08:45 AM

I could not pass up this comment on the idea of Should Men Get Married? What a thought indeed… a return to less freedom, in the sense of choosing or changing our minds… but more freedom to love and commit… without the fear of abandonment…  ah… this a thought worth pondering…

What is your own opinion?

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nice girls don’t get married Tuesday, Dec 18 2007

 

Here is what I see happen all the time: Guys marry women who are stellar examples of womanhood PHYSICALLY. That these woman lack character isn’t a consideration, they are nasty pieces of work, but look good. Meanwhile these guys have as friends some stellar examples of women with good character whom they ignore as potential wives. These women aren’t ugly but they don’t fit the definition of beauty given in the media. Only very rarely do I see women of good character get married. Why? I see needy witches get married all the time. Why?

Quite a thought… I do know a number of twenty and thirty-something young women that intended to get married, dreamed of getting married, patterned their lives in order to be able to get married… and in time… were surprised to find that marriage at this time has passed them by.

They waited to the “right” man. The mature man. The dependable man. The decent man. The trustworthy man.

But he did not appear… at least for them. They may have good friends that talk with them, enjoy their company and spend time with them… but then when it comes time to get married… these men look off into the distance and find someone that more closely fits the pattern of our culture… a sexy little girly girl that spends her self-absorbed life shopping and putting on makeup and looking cute.

And this is what these men will get… someone that ultimately is not up to their standards or intellect… but look cute and sexy… but with no substance and tenacity…

This is a sad thing…

Maybe young men should be expected to spend less time on their video games and tv sports and more time on “how to deliberately find the perfect mate of good character?”

What is your own opinion?

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commitment to the “right” one Monday, Dec 17 2007

 

“The only “trick” to having a good marriage is finding the right woman to marry.” The same thing applies to women looking for men. With right defined as someone you enjoy spending time with, who you respect, who shares your values, and who you want your future kids to be like.

This is such a little quote, but with such profound meaning in several areas. Most importantly the idea that the person you choose to marry and commit your life to should be someone you want your future kids to be like… highly profound. If we thought more often before we decided to “hook-up” with one person or another… or “date” them for a time… not so seriously, but because nothing else is available at the moment… if we simply took the time to think… if we have sex and get pregnant… our children from this liason will be committed to this man/boy forever. We have the choice to stay with this person or not. The child of this union has no choice… he/she is committed for life. Make sure that the person you choose to have sex with is someone that is deserving and appropriate of more than our lust or passion… but also of a trust and commitment… in case the inevitable comes about… and also remembering that through this child you will be committed to this other parent throughout the years… simply because of a choice made without thinking…

What is your own opinion?

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marriage reluctant sons Sunday, Dec 16 2007

 

I have 3 very marriage reluctant sons in their late twenties and early thirties.This is what I tell them. First be a man and then marry someone with self confidence that you respect. If you are looking for someone to reafirm your manhood 24/7 you are probably going to be disapointed in marriage.

Women today are busy. They can only dedicate a certain amount of time to bolstering your image of yourself so you had better come into it with a secure knowledge of who you are and who she is.

If you love her for who she is not for how she makes you feel about yourself then it will likely work beautifully.  –Mama73

Women are too busy and/or successful… and men are too imature and irresponsible, and both are too self-absorbed to care what someone else thinks or wants, and try to please them.

Perhaps the advice most of us would give in this predicament of “whom should we love?” and “whom should we marry?” to a younger generation is simply outdated… we tell them of choosing a good man or woman, of trust and commitment, and a life partner that will “do the right thing, even when it hurts.”

But sad to say… those things along with a good work ethic and wanting to love someone for their good, not our own preference and then stick to it… commitment… seems to be a virtue from the past… not something that this generation understands… or is willing to participate in…

What is your own opinion?

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look at the woman’s community (family) Saturday, Dec 8 2007

 

Men, if you want to get married, look at the girl’s family and community. If it’s full of long-term, happy marriages, then that’s what she’s had as role models. She’s a good prospect.And it’s even better if her community and church offer such things as marriage counseling, and voluntary married retreats, because then she has probably been exposed to the fact that good marriages need work. After all, I grew up with the idea that marriage is a promise and a task, and chose my husband accordingly. He’s the sort of friend I’d always want to be with, and someone who is going to support me as I support him.

This comment from a reader of Should Men Get Married recently. Good advice from my point of view after many years of marriage… and of observing those around us. 

My husband’s parents got married, stayed married and went to church together… and their parents before them. But most of their siblings did not… and many of their kids did not.

My parents stayed together… got married and stayed married. Their parents did not, nor did their grandparents… and all of their siblings divorced.

And in our generation… two out of three siblings in my husband’s family are still married and my siblings… 3 our of 4 are still married.

It seems that we cannot avoid divorce altogether… even with the best of odds and the best of parents.

What is your own opinion?

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women’s moral character Thursday, Nov 29 2007

 

In our on-going discussion of men vs women or Should men get married?  it was argued back and forth that in regard to marriage and divorce and child custody the legal system that seemed unfair to women in decades past has now completely turned around and given women the benefit of the doubt in every case and is unfair to men. Many of the commentors were less than kind in their stated opinion of women and their behavior and character in our culture.

“How can a marriage work when one of the spouses comes into the marriage who is not accountable for any of their actions legally or culturally because of their gender?”

Men had the upper hand for years, and yet there were many who loved and respected their wives…who didn’t feel the need to exercise their culturally condoned right to beat their wives black and blue.

Just the same, there are good women today who are appalled at man-hating, who see marriage as a promise made to God, and whom would view divorce as a monumental failure of their own moral character.

I’m one of them…of course, I’m already off the market!

Some in the discussion thought this comment off the point and could not put this together with the idea that women are all bad and the legal system favors them. If women are all bad then who is this woman commentor? And where did she come from? Perhaps another generation when much more was expected of both men and women? Respect for themselves and the opposite sex? Women were expected to be honest, trustworthy and hard-working among other things…

These days the highest compliment that can be paid to women is that they are SEXY… That is it… However, it takes almost no effort whatsoever for a female to appear sexy. A little shopping, make-up and hair time, and there you are. Mostly that is a given. And as we know men are not always so discerning between individual women and their physical appearance… So what have women to aspire to? No one is asking them to step up and learn much, work hard and respect and support those she loves… she is not expected to do this or even think in these terms. All she needs to do is to dress in tight and revealing clothing, strut about in 3 inch heels and hook-up with anyone available. Hmmm… sounds a little more like a hooker than a good woman? Well… this is currently women’s highest calling, and the men have taken advantage of it. So if men are looking for someone to marry… good luck! The sex will hold out just as long as it does with everyone else… and then on to someone else. This is the pattern and this is what you can expect!

What is your own opinion?

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